Picture of Liberty Usera
School Spirit is Lacking --12th grade
by Liberty Usera - Wednesday, November 23, 2005, 2:21 PM
 
This was an excellent paper overall!  The organization used made my chest swell with pride as I saw the Introduction have a Thesis, and three supporting reasons, and then the lead into the first paragraph, and I'm not forgetting the transitions or the great Conclusion that summarized the main idea and supporting reasons, and the Sentency Fluency has variety, and the Voice used spoke to the reader and got the Idea across without sounding like a piece from a soap-box preacher! I'm just excited about this paper! What bare Convention errors that do exist (only one misspelling!) are minor and don't hinder the paper at all.  This paper is an example of why I teach!  This student 'gets it'!
 
Picture of Crystal Conklin
Re: School Spirit is Lacking --12th grade
by Crystal Conklin - Thursday, March 16, 2006, 9:10 PM
 
I agree.  As I was reading, I thought, "I sure hope this kid goes into journalism!"
Picture of Anne Best
Re: School Spirit is Lacking --12th grade
by Anne Best - Wednesday, March 31, 2010, 12:14 PM
 
Hi Liberty,
I thought this was a very strong piece as well. I am not sure if I was swayed by the voice, but I thought conventions were very strong too. It is fun to read a piece of this caliber. I have seventh graders, so I don't get this often.

Anne