Picture of Casandra Krueger
The Party
by Casandra Krueger - Friday, March 3, 2006, 6:35 PM
 

My favorite sentence was the one containing "my mother clapped her hands and my father shouted." I also liked the ending, "I screamed and screamed and screamed." There are other desriptive phrases, too, such as "smoky yellow light," but I had a sense of adjective overload, and the constant use of modifiers got in the way of the action.  Stronger verbs would have moved the story along faster. The writing lacked the energy needed for scary, suspensful stories. I gave this a 3. It's a good start. (Now, the Idea score is higher, I believe.)