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Memory Cloud (Middle School)
by Daniel Smith - Tuesday, February 24, 2009, 10:14 PM
 
I gave this exceptional writing piece a 5 for Voice.  The first paragraph was a bit vague, but then when the description of the friend's death is written, it is spellbinding.  I wanted to keep reading on, which I guess is what Voice is largely about.  The writer's commitment to their memory of a lost friend is inspiring and touching.  Wow!
 
Picture of Sandy Maras
Re: Memory Cloud (Middle School)
by Sandy Maras - Tuesday, June 23, 2009, 12:10 AM
 
I also gave this writer a 5 for Voice. I could feel the loss, fear and confusion of the writer. Even though the writing could have been more comprehensive, for the age of the writer, I felt the expression of voice was outstanding. I felt that the commitment to the friend's memory at the end of the story put a seal on how genuine the writer felt.
Picture of Sarah steiner
Re: Memory Cloud (Middle School)
by Sarah steiner - Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 10:34 AM
 
This essay really sucked me in, which for me is the most compelling definition of voice. On some of the other essays, I found myself skimming, but this one I read word for word. The author does an excellent job of explaining her grief and anguish, which she explains with in-the-moment emotional descriptions.

Sarah in Cleveland
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Re: Memory Cloud (Middle School)
by Lindsey Fairweather - Thursday, June 25, 2009, 10:11 AM
 
I'm with you folks! I truly believe this one's a five. She shows an eerie maturity that makes sense given the traumatic circumstance, and the voice is still with me -- spooky.

Lindsey in Michigan (for now)
Picture of Maggie Greene
Re: Memory Cloud (Middle School)
by Maggie Greene - Friday, June 26, 2009, 10:55 AM
 

The story certainly puts us at the scene, which is a strong 5 in my opinion!

Maggie  Somerset WI

Picture of Gautham Akula
Re: Memory Cloud (Middle School)
by Gautham Akula - Tuesday, June 29, 2010, 1:44 PM
 

Images like, "Kindra flying in the air", "a dark cloud that floats over a memory" "blood slowly pouring from her head"

words/phrases like: "hazy, watched from afar, memory cloud"

and the compelling story..from the last line of paragraph one you want to read on to find out the connection between why and Kindra.

As another reader said, this is a piece that you wanted to read every word.  its the subject matter, the emotional connection along with images and word choice that make this a 5 for this seventh grader.

Gautham

Beirut, LB

Picture of Bonnie Staiger
Re: Memory Cloud (Middle School)
by Bonnie Staiger - Thursday, July 1, 2010, 8:57 AM
 

Memory Cloud is a powerful piece for Voice.  The writer's love for her friend, the pain of her loss, and the horror of the accident are all detailed.  Her maturity in accepting her grief and transforming the memory cloud to become part of the sky instead of covering all of the blue shows the depth of her maturity and spirit.

Bonnie, Plymouth

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Re: Memory Cloud (Middle School)
by Kassandra Bowen - Tuesday, February 7, 2017, 2:49 PM
 

I agree, you really felt the connection by the way that she wrote.

Picture of Pamela Shorr
Re: Memory Cloud (Middle School)
by Pamela Shorr - Saturday, February 11, 2017, 8:52 AM
 

I also gave this a 5. I thought the writer was very sophisticated in completing the circle of an idea -- opening with:  “I always thought that why was a dangerous question” and ending with: "Why, why did this young teenager have to die…”

She also does this with the 'memory cloud' concept: “My memory of Kindra is getting hazy…I call it the Memory Cloud” to: “I don’t blow the Memory Cloud away, because I am ready. I am ready to not forget Kindra, but remember her in a different way.”